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832-629-9164

Houston, TX, USA

©2018 by Andy Johns

Affair & Betrayal Trauma Recovery Coaching

Has deception, infidelity, and sexual betrayal in your relationship left you feeling hopeless and confused? Has your partner had an affair, or has there been chronic infidelity due to your partner having a sex, love, or pornography addiction? The result of this behavior on a partner is not only painful, but also traumatic. Research shows that the trauma associated with sexual betrayal is real. Healing from this trauma alone is extremely difficult, but there is hope. Reaching out for help is one of the first and most important steps. But, it also takes tremendous courage. The fact that you are ready for change and are searching for help shows that you have great potential to have the life and relationship that you deserve. With coaching you will no longer be going through this alone, and my training through APSATS means that I am highly trained in these types of relational struggles. 

Did you know something was off about your relationship, but couldn't quite figure it out? This statement is all too common with partners of sex addicts; and usually it isn't until things escalate and the truth about their partner's behavior is revealed that they realize they were right. Sexual betrayal is always associated with lying, deception, and gas-lighting. Your partner will likely do anything in their power to prevent you from finding out about their secret sexual life - including blaming you and attacking you with accusations. For the partner of a sex addict, this behavior usually results in a loss of trust, intuition, and even personal identity. Were you made to believe that you were crazy, dramatic, or controlling, even though you uncovered concrete evidence about your partner's behavior? Or were you made to believe that you were co-dependent by your partner, or even a therapist? In the past, partners of addicts were automatically labeled as co-addicts or co-dependents; new research rejects this notion, and rather shows that partners of addicts are suffering from trauma. I want to tell you up front that this is not your fault, and that you are suffering from the consequences of actions that were forced into your life. You did not ask for them. You are a traumatized spouse - not a co-dependent

Betrayal Trauma

Sexually betrayed partners often have symptoms of trauma including but not limited to the following:

- Recurrent and intrusive thoughts, images, and dreams of discovery and their partner's acting out behavior

- The sense of reliving the experience 

- Continuous and intense feelings of fear, terror, helplessness, confusion, worry, sadness, numbness, guilt, loneliness, and worthlessness

- Difficulty falling or staying asleep

- Difficulty eating 

- Digestive issues

- Irritability or outbursts of anger

- Difficulty concentrating

- Hypervigilance

- Forgetfulness 

- Muscle tension, headaches, and chronic pain

- Increased use of alcohol and drugs

- Sense of shame and self-blame for their partners behavior

- Physical and emotional insecurities and loss of self-esteem 

- Recurrence of trauma triggers from sexually suggestive images and reminders of traumatic events 

- Efforts to avoid thoughts, feelings, or conversations associated with the trauma

- Efforts to avoid people, places, and activities that cause trauma recollections and triggers

- Decreased interest in activities they used to enjoy

- Feelings of detachment from others

- Sense of foreshortened future (does not expect to have a career, marriage, children, normal life span, etc.)

Healing from trauma is not a simple task, and it is not something to take lightly, but it is definitely possible. Most trauma survivors actually experience a sense of transformation and empowerment after healing. With betrayal trauma coaching I will help you escape the fog of deception, and the coaching process will empower you to come to terms with your reality, regain trust in your own intuition, regain control of your own life, and help you to start working towards healing and recovery.       

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